There is a story that a mentor shared with me several years back, that has stayed present in my mind all this time. You can find the story “be the buffalo” at:
The abridged version I tell my clients, is that there is a town in Colorado where there are buffalo and cows in the same area. When the storm comes in, the cows run away from the storm and the buffalos run into the storm. When the storm subsides, the cows end up with more damage than the buffalo.
Moral of the story - be the buffalo - go into the storm.
I think of the storm as a metaphor for difficult emotions. It is easy to want to be like the cows and run away from your difficult emotions, yet then the emotions circle back and damage you even more than if you just faced them head on like the buffalo.
One of the reasons people are afraid of the storm of emotions, is because they envision dysregulated emotions where it feels like you are going to be knocked off your feet. Dysregulated emotions in adults are often coming from a child part within you and not your wisest adult self.
Regulated emotions, on the other hand, are about keeping the observer part of your brain online. The observer notices the body sensations you are feeling, the thoughts running through your mind, and the stories you are telling yourself. When your emotions are regulated, they are not quite as scary. They don’t knock you down.
The easiest way to tap into the observer part of your brain, is to get into your body. Feel your feet on the ground, notice your breath. Wiggle your toes and your fingers. Remind yourself that you are an embodied being.
The more you actively practice regulating your emotions, the more you can be the buffalo and go into the storm.
Comments