When I was in high school, I floated between social groups, blending in and “fitting in” wherever I went. I called myself a chameleon and I was proud of being like this. All these years later, in my 40s, I finally realize that being a chameleon was simply a survival strategy. It is what I felt I had to do to belong.
From an evolutionary standpoint, rejection from our tribe means death. So, my nervous system, on some level, was feeling like I would die if I wasn’t accepted socially.
Now, I know that being accepted for some shadow of myself; that molded to meet others’ standards, was not being truly accepted. Today, I would rather be rejected for who I truly am, than loved for who I am not.
Being authentic is one of my core values.
Being authentic means that sometimes people will not like you. It is normal to want to be liked as a human, but at what cost? If having someone like you means abandoning yourself, is it really worth it?
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