Joy and Gratitude

By Jessie Krall | Originally published on Krall Counseling

Joy is one of the most vulnerable emotions we can feel.

It’s beautiful, yes. Expansive. Heart-opening. But it’s also… terrifying.

🌞 The Joy-Clench

You may start to feel joy—warmth in your chest, a soft smile, your shoulders drop. And then, a split second later, your mind whispers:

“What if this doesn’t last?”“What if something bad happens?”

Your body tightens. You brace. The joy slips through your fingers.

This is what Brené Brown calls foreboding joy—and it’s incredibly common.

🧠 Blame It on the Brain

Our brains are wired with something called a negativity bias. It’s the evolutionary mechanism that helped our ancestors survive by constantly scanning for danger.

So when joy shows up, the brain often panics:

“This feels too good. Surely something bad is coming next.”

Personally, I’ve had this moment while simply looking at one of my three beautiful cats—completely in love—and then spiraling into fear about them getting sick or dying.

Sound familiar?

🌿 The Antidote: Gratitude

Here’s the good news:There is a way to interrupt the spiral. And it’s not by denying the fear. It’s by pairing the joy with gratitude.

Gratitude grounds joy. It gives your nervous system something solid to hold onto. And best of all—it’s a practice, not just a fleeting feeling.

That means you have agency. You can actively choose to train your attention on what is good and true.

💛 Brené Brown puts it this way:

“It’s not the joyful people who are grateful; it’s the grateful people who are joyful.”

Gratitude is the doorway. Joy walks through.

✨ Easy Ways to Practice Gratitude

• Write down three things you’re grateful for each morning—or at the end of the day

• Share gratitude aloud with a partner or friend (there’s power in being witnessed)

• Start a gratitude jar—write short notes on post-its and re-read them on hard days

• Pause in the middle of something sweet (a warm mug, a soft breeze, a kind word) and whisper:

  “I’m grateful for this.”

🌱 Your Turn

What are you grateful for today?

Take a moment. Breathe. Let something small come to mind. Notice if joy starts to trickle in alongside it.

Share your gratitude in the comments—and let us know your favorite gratitude practices too. Let’s inspire each other to stay open to joy, even when it feels tender.